Unfortunately, I am experiencing a Fibromyalgia flare-up.
Fortunately I know it will end,
I hesitated to take on a year-long (my 365) project because of my past experiences in dealing with this syndrome, disorder, life disturbifiyingly frustrating thing. Determined to keep printing pictures and writing everyday. Regardless of FM, I will do what I set my mind to.
This is just to give a little glimpse as to why I may not always be able to share the pictures and poems here with you all...:(
My hope for this blog is to share my overall positive attitude about life, this post is not a play for sympathy, just a spot of insight.
Fibromyalgia, the good, bad and frugly(frustratingly ugly).
Good is when flare-up is over, also having deep down understanding it will get better.
...impatience with others AND myself.
...sadness, depression, just feeling a complete lack of self-confidence, which had been intact JUST LAST WEEK?!
...fatigue, overwhelming weariness and P-A-I-N.
...also the great possibility that I will disappoint myself or others because I feel just plain rotten...
...finally, there is Fibro-fog...
Fibro-fog is like thinking while drunk, attempting to work out problems, carry on simple conversations, do basic math and organization skills I had yesterday, ALL flushed into outhouse hole!
("the fog" is probably why I have NO interest in drinking alcohol)
Frugly is interwoven with the B-A-D, besides I really like my made-up word, teehee, there is always humor:)
For me, it's a sneaking, slow thing, not obvious or unignorable like a broken arm. And for the most part I do not want to talk about it. Because, I REFUSE to let it rule my life!
Today, I am allowing myself a petite pitty party, 1 day only, to feel sad and grumpy, tomorrow, I hold on to what is good in my life and move forward.
I am fortunate to have a loving, understanding and supportive husband. Jeff helps where and when he can and provides "gentle" hugs upon request.
Thanks for listening dear friends.
P.S. Don't worry about me Mom, I'll be alright!
P.P.S. I took a 30 minute walk today, in Bingham's meadow with Bailey, despite and most importantly IN-SPITE of the pain because overall it helps.
Chin up, better days ahead, so onward...